The DJ Got Us Falling in Love (For Tonight Only).

"What shall we use

To fill the empty spaces"- Pink Floyd

You probably remember the good social times you had rather than the laborious time you spent studying. If you didn't party in college – you missed a pretty big chunk of the point. I probably can't argue advanced microeconomic theory with you but I can tell you my idea of a great party. It takes place at someone's house. I love that welcoming feeling. I want people to be able to grab what they want and enjoy as much of it as you want. Then there' lots of social games going on – people paying pong, playing "Never have I ever", playing King's Cup, playing pool – you name it. This is a time to play and the Milton Brothers have nothing on us.

So when I grew up (also known as "graduating"), I had to go to grown-up parties. This transition blew my mind. I waited my whole life to grow up and once I get a glimpse, it's filled with nothing but brainwashed, douchey, boring assholes. I guess that's what happens when you go to a club. I hate clubs because they are the factories that produce and encourage aforementioned hated behavior. Let's look at the top 5 things and why they contribute to my hatred of the night club.

1. Babe Slinger – These douche-bags like to think of their girls, dates, and/or escorts as trophies. I can't stand that shit. They're the people who can remain silent and say "me and my companion are shallow snobs because we're going to enter and take up your oxygen and just look hawt and sexy". They're usually wearing blazers with lots of ugly artwork. They have small balls because they probably juice and are too scared to get real tattoos (or lack commitment). Many times, their babes are attached to them by some imaginary douche-glue.
   
   1. They have a sub-variety known as the Brainwashed Babe Slinger because they seem to have been brainwashed by MTV into thinking that Jersey Shore is cool. They laugh with the guidos, not at them. These Slingers resemble trashy, extraordinary gym rats with even "hawter and sexier" babes and lots of gel in their hair.
      
2. The Future Winklevii – Like Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss, they love to brag about their above-average stature and physique. They just stand there as ogling giants, doing and saying whatever drunk, competitive, white people like to do and it's twice as annoying because they travel in pairs.
   
3. Grampa Creeps – This guy is way too old to be at a club. He belongs at a car dealership either buying a midlife crisis car or trying to sell one so he can get out of his own. Usually dressed in what was cool at least 3 seasons ago, is balding naturally and on schedule, and has leathery skin. When the DJ plays Gun N' Roses – it's for this guy.
   
4. The White Guy – who is wearing a fedora. He's probably gay.
   
5. The Mannequin – This person is a prototype. He or she is going to be dressed like a mannequin. Sometimes they fit in and represent the LA scene for what it is or they do a great job of reflecting their personality which is a reflection of their city. That's great but it's also rare. There's the person who seems to be dressed as if he's in a Boston pub or a New York hipster club or as an H&M mannequin.
   
6. The Tease – this person can be a girl who wants a drink from you or the guy who wants to buy you a drink (but only for tonight). Girls who make a business out of teasing drinks from guys who don't fall in the above categories are just heartless. I don't want to be in your company because I may not get along with the rest of your personality and I'm pretty sure of it. And if you're a guy who thinks he can get to a girl's bed through a couple of drinks, well, if you're stupid enough to believe that, it won't happen and you deserve for it to happen to you. And if you're successful - you can do much better than that girl.
   
   1. Point of Advice: leave the tease if she is in any way with or associated with The Buzzkiller.
      

People should never have to pay for a good time. It should come naturally. A club is just the epitome of egos mixing with testosterone (which give birth to more egos) and then there's the stench of sweaty sluttiness that's floating around somewhere in the corner. It's a cesspool of everything that is bad for society cramped into one alcohol lubricated Machine.

On a positive note, clubs have really nice bathrooms. And it serves as a great holding pen for those kinds of people so you know where to avoid them. If you're a PUA, the club is all you with only your imagination to stop you. The object of your game is to get something good by 2 am, because let's face it: nothing good ever starts to happen after 2 am.

Whatever you do, however you do it – time is never lost when invested in the company of those you love.

Not Your Average Book

People weren't particularly interested in seeing me, they were interesting in seeing each other. They came to see who came.
- Andy Warhol

The Social Network is a good movie for quite a few reasons. David Fincher took public court documents surrounding the legal battles of Facebook and strategically sprinkled them in a fictional dramatization of its founding. The film in general was well made with a great story that holds attention well throughout the movie. Jesse Eisenberg does an amazing job of portraying Mark Zuckerberg as the anti-hero of the movie for as long as necessary. Zuckerberg is portrayed to be a speaking motherboard but behind all the Silicon is a person passionate about their creation. He is somebody who wanted ownership of (whether new and digital or old and traditional) a social phenomena and he pursued it, just without finesse.

What intrigued me and made this film memorable across the ages were the messages throughout the movie. One scene stands out for me in particular. After Saverin freezes the bank accounts, Zuckerberg yells over the phone to him (I'm paraphrasing here) "people can't get on facebook and if they don't get on facebook their friends won't go on facebook because people only want to go on because their friends are on"

This line just basically sums up a key point Fincher was trying to make: we're a generation that wants to be everyone else is. The term "individual" is one taken lightly and whose definition has grown vaguer over the years (which are like eons in the normal time frame). It is becoming clearer that we are more prominently defining our actions and who we are by the people we are surrounded by. It seems that what Darwin did for finches – looking at their evolution from a biological perspective – Zuckerberg has done a social experience. We are a series of algorithms and PHP code. Will only the strong survive? Will only the smart survive? What is the quality of these ties and will they be strong? Malcolm Gladwell makes a decent argument in his latest article but it's written from someone who isn't really from within our generation. There are plenty more questions that we need to ask ourselves.

Another quote from the movie that sticks out to me was said in reference to Facebook's infancy:

"You don't even know what the thing is yet. How big it can get, how far it can go."

I interpret this line to apply to our generation. We're not our parents' children. We are a generation that is addicted to the digital sphere. Our sense of independence is far from its true definition. We are the lab mice of the World Wide Web constantly being tested, fad by fad, meme by meme, username by username. We are the cattle ranging on infinite domains. We still have yet to see how big we are, will we or are we going to make it big using these tools that have been provided for us (ultimately proving Gladwell wrong – or maybe we're part of a bigger hierarchy than he imagined). How far can we as a generation go?

The Social Network displays a portrait of our generation – a microcosm of the state of our laptops. And that's what makes a piece of art great: when it accurately and elegantly acts a mirror for the people to see themselves in. The Social Network was as much a snapshot about a generation than it was a story about a website and a business going through various stages that everyone goes through.

It's a beautiful and ugly mess of technology, relationships and science put together. Although we have many questions to answer regarding our future and where we're headed, one thing we cannot deny is that Zuckerberg found us. He discovered that we were different and that there was something grand and simultaneously pathetic about us. Every scientist who discovers something reserves the right to name it. I'm sure Zuckerberg wouldn't object to us as The Facebook Generation.

Sporks Need Not Apply

I think it's great that families sit down together for dinner. There's no better place for learning and growing. A couple days ago, my family and I set out for some Thai food; this is rare because my parents hate trying new places. Yelp did its part and got them out of the house and the restaurant upheld their part of the bargain and served some great food. The dinner was mostly quiet because everyone was hungry but I had a chance to reflect on some of my favorite types of food among other things. Here we go:

My least favorite vegetable: Peas

I hate peas because they're so damn annoying. Everything about them is tedious: trying to cook them, trying to enjoy them, trying to convince other people to even eat them—just about everything about them. It even extends to the phrase "two peas in a pod." What the hell is that supposed to mean? I've never seen a pea pod with just two peas in them. And I don't want to be like you, I don't want to be in the same freaking pod with you. Give me some space yo. Anybody who says I'm a pea in a pod with them is going to get charged at with me riding a bull. Are you going to cite edamame beans and say they have two in legumes in them? Well the saying is PEAS. Not, soy products. And I'm mildly allergic to them so back off. But back to peas, they're not getting off so easily. Peas even taste bitter to me. The texture of putting tiny mushy balls with wrinkly skin is just disgusting. Like a certain citrus party that was an internet meme years ago. But yes, I hate peas. Are you supposed to eat them with a fork or a spoon? To me, it doesn't matter – they taste nasty either way. They can go screw themselves and let people observe how cringe-worthy they are. Mendel had it right – count them, feel them, stare at them from whatever angle you like, just don't freaking eat them.

My favorite vegetable:
Steak

Okay, so steak isn't a vegetable, but I do like what steak likes. So through some transitive property, I do heavily favor vegetables, not surprisingly, those eaten by steak, I mean, cows. I enjoy grasses and leaves like Romaine lettuce, and bean sprouts. Basil makes anything at least 5 times better. Celery is definitely delicious when paired with peanut butter or ranch. Broccoli is most enjoyed like everything else – steamy (and a little bit of ranch doesn't hurt.) Cows also eat a lot of oats and grains which works out nicely! I like lentils prepared in any good ol' Indian way. They're good for humans and they make my steak tasty! You can use those grains to make a healthy soup or any other powerful elixir. They're so versatile that you can put them to work any which way.

My least favorite fruit:
Peas

These nasty spheres are considered vegetables from a culinary view but botanically, they're actually fruits. It's like a nasty mushy banana except small, round and mucus colored green. It's another reason to hate them twice as much.

My favorite fruit: Ellen DeGeneres

Ellen DeGeneres is my favorite fruit: her bright personality, sweet heart, and peachy attitude just make her so lovable. She's not afraid to be who she is. She's good for you. And she does what's right too. I remember her when she had strawberry blond hair. But even today, her rosy tomato red cheeks are a reflection of how pure her heart is. And in the tiny chance she is blue (I don't think she can ever be as blue as a blueberry), you just want to give her a hug and squeeze her like you would a freshly picked orange for your morning juice. And her views on sustainability and green energy! I think people in the future will judge more how efficiently you recycle than how well you pull off green eye-shadow. And as for Ellen, her love for the animals and the planet make her greener than the bright green of a raw mango you pick at the beginning of the harvest, hoping for it ripen into a sweet, soft nectar. And she's so spontaneous with that unpredictability we admire but lack. Give her a ripe and firm banana and at best we have a 50% chance of knowing what she'll do it with it.

(In reality: At the end of the day, it's wrong to hate food because there are people who would be extremely grateful to have that in their life. Be grateful and try things in moderation; over-indulgence can kill simple joys of life)