Literary Release

There she was just flirting with the guys. They were crazy for her, but not like I was. I was way in over my head. I thought I deserved her and they knew better than that. Usually reason is motivation to do or say anything, but right now, it was alcohol and there was plenty of it. He took a shot, went up to her and said "Look, we need to have a serious conversation. Seriously serious"

Confused as hell she said "Umm okay".

"Look, I want to get to know you. And a lot of the questions I have are very personal and really, I don't want to invade your privacy" he slurred quickly. "SO if it at any point, you don't want to answer, just say 'that's personal' and I'll back off. No questions asked. I will provide the answer myself with my assumptions. And at the same time, feel free to ask me anything"

"Okay." She was definitely not ready for this.

"Who was your first boyfriend?"

"What are you trying to get at?"

"Fine. How many boyfriends have you officially had?"

She replied with her number.

"How many boys have you been romantically with, kind of like … an unofficial boyfriend?"

She replied a slightly higher number.

"Interesting. When was your first romantic kiss?" He thought she was going to say something along the lines that she's never kissed a boy. Instead, she responded with an age. Looks like she was the pulling surprises.

"Are you currently romantically involved with someone right now. If you lie to me" and added her name to the end to emphasize his point. Just because the alcohol was doing the talking did not mean that later on he couldn't follow up the threat. "I will never speak to you again. Just watch"

"that's too personal" she said.

"Moving on. Is the person you're romantically involved with in the same building as you?"

"Possibly".

"In the past 6 weeks, the entire time you've known me, have you ever thought of me as being your boyfriend? Has it ever crossed your mind?"

"Maybe…"

"And what turned you away?"

She just shrugged her shoulders.

"How do you feel about me becoming a Delt? It seems that once I went through with rush and pledging, you just got turned off. Why is that? How do you feel about me and delts?"

"I don't know".

Now he was getting fucking pissed off. He sensed lies."You're keeping stuff from me. I don't like that. I really don't." His voice became more stern but not for long. The booze started to slur again. "Has it ever occurred to you that I'm crazy for you? Have you realized that I am head over heels for you and that I want to be a in a relationship ship with you? Every time I talk to someone, I look at their eyes. But your eyes, I can't do it. I feel such a burst of this good feeling, this feeling of enamouredness and warmth. I get so fuzzy inside and I can't stop smiling. I feel it so strongly that I can't bear to look in your eyes because I know that if I do, I'll be so addicted and when you leave me or reject me, I don't know what I'll do. This is your chance to say yes or no and let me know if my dream can come true." The alcohol was wearing him out more quickly than before. His tone of romance came out with weariness instead. Speaking out his true feelings did take a fight. There should be no surprise that he was out of breath by now, panting like a warrior after an almost lost battle. Inside him, his conscious just fought its censor which for any man is no easy task. "If there is another guy, I need to know so I can move on and we, as in you and I, can both say goodbye to the possibility of us being together and just remain friends. If you're going to break my heart, just shatter it right away. No need to fucking prolong it. Just do it and get it over with."

And it came tumbling down. It came crashing down and only he heard it.

He walked outside to the desert night. And for the first time, he felt cold. All he wanted was her touch to warm him. He chuckled because he knew she had "cold blood". Her hands were just always cold, but at this point he felt that they could be bright sun-rays to his daisy heart. Instead, he prepared himself for the cold journey.