So today I am officially off the UCR Raas team. I don't know if they dropped me or if I resigned. I'm going to say I resigned to protect my dignity. It's 11:11 pm, make a wish. Anyways, when I told them and the drop was confirmed, I felt sad. I didn't want to give up Garba. It's what I have left of my Indian culture at UCR and really, I enjoy garba SO much. But alas, there are slightly more important things that I have committed my time to.
The hardest thing was saying no. I felt so weak. I felt vulnerable and that I wasn't good enough for life in general. It's like someone gave me this challenge and I had to step away. Hmph, me and my ego. Always thinking that we can do anything together. But the reality is we can't. It takes strength to say no and it's even more noble to say no when you're the weakest leak. Take one for the team, but more importantly, say it so that I may not falter and bring others down with me.
And also, I hate liars*. If you're with someone, just say so, don't beat around it. We're all adults here and by keeping secrets, you're actually the one being a child.
-Zah
*Yes, I know I lie too, but they're always joke-lies. When people ask me "are you serious?" I respond with "no". If you ask me for the truth without the humorous context, I will give it to you without hesitation.
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