The DJ Got Us Falling in Love (For Tonight Only).

"What shall we use

To fill the empty spaces"- Pink Floyd

You probably remember the good social times you had rather than the laborious time you spent studying. If you didn't party in college – you missed a pretty big chunk of the point. I probably can't argue advanced microeconomic theory with you but I can tell you my idea of a great party. It takes place at someone's house. I love that welcoming feeling. I want people to be able to grab what they want and enjoy as much of it as you want. Then there' lots of social games going on – people paying pong, playing "Never have I ever", playing King's Cup, playing pool – you name it. This is a time to play and the Milton Brothers have nothing on us.

So when I grew up (also known as "graduating"), I had to go to grown-up parties. This transition blew my mind. I waited my whole life to grow up and once I get a glimpse, it's filled with nothing but brainwashed, douchey, boring assholes. I guess that's what happens when you go to a club. I hate clubs because they are the factories that produce and encourage aforementioned hated behavior. Let's look at the top 5 things and why they contribute to my hatred of the night club.

1. Babe Slinger – These douche-bags like to think of their girls, dates, and/or escorts as trophies. I can't stand that shit. They're the people who can remain silent and say "me and my companion are shallow snobs because we're going to enter and take up your oxygen and just look hawt and sexy". They're usually wearing blazers with lots of ugly artwork. They have small balls because they probably juice and are too scared to get real tattoos (or lack commitment). Many times, their babes are attached to them by some imaginary douche-glue.
   
   1. They have a sub-variety known as the Brainwashed Babe Slinger because they seem to have been brainwashed by MTV into thinking that Jersey Shore is cool. They laugh with the guidos, not at them. These Slingers resemble trashy, extraordinary gym rats with even "hawter and sexier" babes and lots of gel in their hair.
      
2. The Future Winklevii – Like Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss, they love to brag about their above-average stature and physique. They just stand there as ogling giants, doing and saying whatever drunk, competitive, white people like to do and it's twice as annoying because they travel in pairs.
   
3. Grampa Creeps – This guy is way too old to be at a club. He belongs at a car dealership either buying a midlife crisis car or trying to sell one so he can get out of his own. Usually dressed in what was cool at least 3 seasons ago, is balding naturally and on schedule, and has leathery skin. When the DJ plays Gun N' Roses – it's for this guy.
   
4. The White Guy – who is wearing a fedora. He's probably gay.
   
5. The Mannequin – This person is a prototype. He or she is going to be dressed like a mannequin. Sometimes they fit in and represent the LA scene for what it is or they do a great job of reflecting their personality which is a reflection of their city. That's great but it's also rare. There's the person who seems to be dressed as if he's in a Boston pub or a New York hipster club or as an H&M mannequin.
   
6. The Tease – this person can be a girl who wants a drink from you or the guy who wants to buy you a drink (but only for tonight). Girls who make a business out of teasing drinks from guys who don't fall in the above categories are just heartless. I don't want to be in your company because I may not get along with the rest of your personality and I'm pretty sure of it. And if you're a guy who thinks he can get to a girl's bed through a couple of drinks, well, if you're stupid enough to believe that, it won't happen and you deserve for it to happen to you. And if you're successful - you can do much better than that girl.
   
   1. Point of Advice: leave the tease if she is in any way with or associated with The Buzzkiller.
      

People should never have to pay for a good time. It should come naturally. A club is just the epitome of egos mixing with testosterone (which give birth to more egos) and then there's the stench of sweaty sluttiness that's floating around somewhere in the corner. It's a cesspool of everything that is bad for society cramped into one alcohol lubricated Machine.

On a positive note, clubs have really nice bathrooms. And it serves as a great holding pen for those kinds of people so you know where to avoid them. If you're a PUA, the club is all you with only your imagination to stop you. The object of your game is to get something good by 2 am, because let's face it: nothing good ever starts to happen after 2 am.

Whatever you do, however you do it – time is never lost when invested in the company of those you love.

Not Your Average Book

People weren't particularly interested in seeing me, they were interesting in seeing each other. They came to see who came.
- Andy Warhol

The Social Network is a good movie for quite a few reasons. David Fincher took public court documents surrounding the legal battles of Facebook and strategically sprinkled them in a fictional dramatization of its founding. The film in general was well made with a great story that holds attention well throughout the movie. Jesse Eisenberg does an amazing job of portraying Mark Zuckerberg as the anti-hero of the movie for as long as necessary. Zuckerberg is portrayed to be a speaking motherboard but behind all the Silicon is a person passionate about their creation. He is somebody who wanted ownership of (whether new and digital or old and traditional) a social phenomena and he pursued it, just without finesse.

What intrigued me and made this film memorable across the ages were the messages throughout the movie. One scene stands out for me in particular. After Saverin freezes the bank accounts, Zuckerberg yells over the phone to him (I'm paraphrasing here) "people can't get on facebook and if they don't get on facebook their friends won't go on facebook because people only want to go on because their friends are on"

This line just basically sums up a key point Fincher was trying to make: we're a generation that wants to be everyone else is. The term "individual" is one taken lightly and whose definition has grown vaguer over the years (which are like eons in the normal time frame). It is becoming clearer that we are more prominently defining our actions and who we are by the people we are surrounded by. It seems that what Darwin did for finches – looking at their evolution from a biological perspective – Zuckerberg has done a social experience. We are a series of algorithms and PHP code. Will only the strong survive? Will only the smart survive? What is the quality of these ties and will they be strong? Malcolm Gladwell makes a decent argument in his latest article but it's written from someone who isn't really from within our generation. There are plenty more questions that we need to ask ourselves.

Another quote from the movie that sticks out to me was said in reference to Facebook's infancy:

"You don't even know what the thing is yet. How big it can get, how far it can go."

I interpret this line to apply to our generation. We're not our parents' children. We are a generation that is addicted to the digital sphere. Our sense of independence is far from its true definition. We are the lab mice of the World Wide Web constantly being tested, fad by fad, meme by meme, username by username. We are the cattle ranging on infinite domains. We still have yet to see how big we are, will we or are we going to make it big using these tools that have been provided for us (ultimately proving Gladwell wrong – or maybe we're part of a bigger hierarchy than he imagined). How far can we as a generation go?

The Social Network displays a portrait of our generation – a microcosm of the state of our laptops. And that's what makes a piece of art great: when it accurately and elegantly acts a mirror for the people to see themselves in. The Social Network was as much a snapshot about a generation than it was a story about a website and a business going through various stages that everyone goes through.

It's a beautiful and ugly mess of technology, relationships and science put together. Although we have many questions to answer regarding our future and where we're headed, one thing we cannot deny is that Zuckerberg found us. He discovered that we were different and that there was something grand and simultaneously pathetic about us. Every scientist who discovers something reserves the right to name it. I'm sure Zuckerberg wouldn't object to us as The Facebook Generation.

Sporks Need Not Apply

I think it's great that families sit down together for dinner. There's no better place for learning and growing. A couple days ago, my family and I set out for some Thai food; this is rare because my parents hate trying new places. Yelp did its part and got them out of the house and the restaurant upheld their part of the bargain and served some great food. The dinner was mostly quiet because everyone was hungry but I had a chance to reflect on some of my favorite types of food among other things. Here we go:

My least favorite vegetable: Peas

I hate peas because they're so damn annoying. Everything about them is tedious: trying to cook them, trying to enjoy them, trying to convince other people to even eat them—just about everything about them. It even extends to the phrase "two peas in a pod." What the hell is that supposed to mean? I've never seen a pea pod with just two peas in them. And I don't want to be like you, I don't want to be in the same freaking pod with you. Give me some space yo. Anybody who says I'm a pea in a pod with them is going to get charged at with me riding a bull. Are you going to cite edamame beans and say they have two in legumes in them? Well the saying is PEAS. Not, soy products. And I'm mildly allergic to them so back off. But back to peas, they're not getting off so easily. Peas even taste bitter to me. The texture of putting tiny mushy balls with wrinkly skin is just disgusting. Like a certain citrus party that was an internet meme years ago. But yes, I hate peas. Are you supposed to eat them with a fork or a spoon? To me, it doesn't matter – they taste nasty either way. They can go screw themselves and let people observe how cringe-worthy they are. Mendel had it right – count them, feel them, stare at them from whatever angle you like, just don't freaking eat them.

My favorite vegetable:
Steak

Okay, so steak isn't a vegetable, but I do like what steak likes. So through some transitive property, I do heavily favor vegetables, not surprisingly, those eaten by steak, I mean, cows. I enjoy grasses and leaves like Romaine lettuce, and bean sprouts. Basil makes anything at least 5 times better. Celery is definitely delicious when paired with peanut butter or ranch. Broccoli is most enjoyed like everything else – steamy (and a little bit of ranch doesn't hurt.) Cows also eat a lot of oats and grains which works out nicely! I like lentils prepared in any good ol' Indian way. They're good for humans and they make my steak tasty! You can use those grains to make a healthy soup or any other powerful elixir. They're so versatile that you can put them to work any which way.

My least favorite fruit:
Peas

These nasty spheres are considered vegetables from a culinary view but botanically, they're actually fruits. It's like a nasty mushy banana except small, round and mucus colored green. It's another reason to hate them twice as much.

My favorite fruit: Ellen DeGeneres

Ellen DeGeneres is my favorite fruit: her bright personality, sweet heart, and peachy attitude just make her so lovable. She's not afraid to be who she is. She's good for you. And she does what's right too. I remember her when she had strawberry blond hair. But even today, her rosy tomato red cheeks are a reflection of how pure her heart is. And in the tiny chance she is blue (I don't think she can ever be as blue as a blueberry), you just want to give her a hug and squeeze her like you would a freshly picked orange for your morning juice. And her views on sustainability and green energy! I think people in the future will judge more how efficiently you recycle than how well you pull off green eye-shadow. And as for Ellen, her love for the animals and the planet make her greener than the bright green of a raw mango you pick at the beginning of the harvest, hoping for it ripen into a sweet, soft nectar. And she's so spontaneous with that unpredictability we admire but lack. Give her a ripe and firm banana and at best we have a 50% chance of knowing what she'll do it with it.

(In reality: At the end of the day, it's wrong to hate food because there are people who would be extremely grateful to have that in their life. Be grateful and try things in moderation; over-indulgence can kill simple joys of life)

Novocain for the Brain

I think now is the appropriate time to tell my followers that I actually dislike Facebook very much and now is a relevant time to explain so with the premiere of The Social Network tomorrow.

I think technology is great and should be embraced. People should be eager to learn when access and availability make it possible. I see technology as wings humans fly with, not the crutches to walk with.

It's impossible to say that our wings will never become our crutches. Even thought I consider myself to be a low maintenance guy, I still wonder how I would survive or enjoy my week if I couldn't watch football on TV. Or even a channel to publish these writings. Can't exactly have a blog through a newspaper these days (and those are actually called "columns").

I don't hate Facebook, I hate what it represents. I see it as a barometer of how dependent and absent-minded society is becoming with regard to technology. When I see people on Facebook "liking" everything under the earth and every childhood memory, I can't help but wonder what being excluded. Will conversations about the fads and phenomena of yesteryear just be "yeah, I liked that" "oh, I like that too." It's fun to talk about these things. It's a different level of engagement when you're on the phone (cellular or pay) and when the conversation glides to talking about these things. Or visiting a friend and somehow the words "I remember when…" gathers everyone's attention in earshot. People stop what they're doing to talk and engage with each other.

I don't mean to say that that's not what Facebook is doing. Facebook's mission is "to give people the power to share and make the world more open and connected." I think that's what every social network should strive to do. The very definition of social media should be to empower the individual.

It's a shame only a fraction of that empowerment is utilized. It sickens me that in order to get people to market anything party, a Facebook event is a prerequisite. It hurts when I see that boys and girls cry or scream when relationship statuses change. Facebook is a great way to make a presence. Its universality is amazing and evident when people say "oh, just look me up on Facebook." People could use these tools to network, to keep in touch, to collaborate. But I see it being wasted on people playing games like Farmville and spamming my inbox with buy this and buy that campaigns. I think the only positives that I can think of from this are that people are less shy towards being a start-up and hopefully being immersed in these marketing clichés, they will learn that those tickets are NOT really selling that fast no matter who sends the message.

For every inspiring piece of photography that I see from an amateur, I see 5 questions answered about someone in a random social interview (and these answers aren't really worth repeating.) For every new start up that is trying to do better than someone else, I see people inviting me to share my phone number because of a lost phone. In fact, Facebook is approaching mass commercialization joining the ranks of Christmas cards and Valentines. Yes, Facebook is committed to being free but is the experience just as rich while we're facing ads for everything that we like? That now more and more businesses are trying to profit from people hanging out with their friends on the digital sphere. Maybe Facebook should offer a Lite version and offer a paid subscription free of ads. Maybe I should just quit Facebook altogether. But that's what I hate: if I want to engage with my community, with my peers – I have few other options than Facebook. It seems to be the standard. Face it, the social network is our crutch to reach out, engage, and do what people like to do. If we're going to have a crutch, it needs to be useful, it needs to be effective. I can accept having that the only information to my party is a Facebook invite. But I can't accept it when people mark off they'll be attending and don't show up. Or stick to a middle ground with a "maybe". I can be stuck in that limbo with live engagement, I don't need a social network to do it for me. Maybe we need a higher standard either from our social network or our society. Maybe I just need some fresh air from the dust and cobwebs.

Facebook is just one giant laboratory. It's a testing ground for people to try everything – from learning how to socialize to learning how to spam. I can accept that these are lessons that today's generation will have to learn albeit I don't believe it's the best place to learn. I've dipped my hand in the well and gotten what I need from it. Don't commit yourself to one classroom though (and who hasn't heard the notion of learning outside the classroom.) Today you're the student; don't forget that one day you'll be the teacher. How embarrassing would it be to prove that you don't know anything?

Bugged Out

A good friend once asked me what my pet peeves were. I gave her a really shitty answer. I usually enjoy conversations with her a lot so typically, I dwell on the topics and then I figure out a more correct, cogent answer:

Pet Peeves:

1. When people waste my time. I dislike walking behind slow people and I hate when people are so unaware of their surroundings that I have to say "excuse me" multiple times to bring them back to reality. Get to the point.
   
2. Repeating myself.
   
3. Exclusivity. The world is a place for learning, loving, and living. And in that order as far as my wisdom dictates. You can't learn with an exclusive setting. Involving the participation of all people who are interested is the first step to saying "I want to learn. I want the best." As with the California spirit, you'll have to pick up 100 rocks before you can find a nugget of gold. Think about it.

Poem Sharing #1

Dream Variations Langston Hughes

To fling my arms wide In some place of the sun, To whirl and to dance Till the white day is done. Then rest at cool evening Beneath a tall tree While night comes on gently, Dark like me- That is my dream! To fling my arms wide In the face of the sun, Dance! Whirl! Whirl! Till the quick day is done. Rest at pale evening... A tall, slim tree... Night coming tenderly Black like me.

More than Battle

I find myself facing a rite of passage that not many people like to discuss. Well, what makes it a rite of passage in the first place? First, every time I tell people of the task at hand, I receive well wishes and good luck on my endeavor. If that's not enough, it fits the exact definition by James C. Livingston, author of Anatomy of the Sacred.

What is this horrid journey before me? Finding a job. Yes people, finding a job is the next rite of passage in America. There's Bar Mitzvah, then there's college which has multiple passages in itself (e.g.: fraternity membership, binging, turning 21, walks of shame, etc.) but I believe the job hunt is being forgotten when it's becoming the most important and difficult passage today.

It irks me that most people take this passage lightly. They refer to it lightly as "the job hunt." Well I'm not satisfied with that. I'm going to take the initiative and let it be known that this is not just a hunt. A hunt whether for job or for game implies a quick kill. One shot here, maybe another shot there, you get what you want and you're momentarily happy. Before you know it, you're out hunting again. No people, finding a job straight out of college is not a one shot kill, it is a battle.

You are armed with an arsenal of resumes and cover letters to get you into enemy lines. This is the only time that espionage and destruction are meant to lead to collaboration. Once infiltrated, you have to use your charm, your wit, and your intelligence, your patience because you will get caught in the interview, the torturous interview. You're so thirsty to finish this battle that you want to be in the interview, let them take your best shot at you where they focus on your weaknesses and twist your answers to something you didn't mean to say. But you can keep your cool. You're a soldier, not just a hunter. Then they lock you in a gripping prison. Will they call? Will they not call? It's a test of the mind that only the victorious know how to pass. But then again, the victorious are much better at avoiding the battle in the first place.

The Valkyries may ride. Whether the battle is won or lost, remember that this is a war for a career. A job doesn't define your drive. Your career path is one of many anchors of success. Do not look back at it as a series of hunts. It is one unified fight. Yes, careers may change but the war is still the same. Are you going to fight to make your productivity the best that it can and will be? Remember, you are not a job hunter. You are a career warrior.

Good Morning Class, Please Log In

Let me tell you class, Twitter is the future of the world. Well, at least micro-blogging. The problem is that nobody knows how to use it. And let me clarify that by use, I mean to use – to turn its potential for productivity into results. The self-proclaimed "techies" that can pick up networks and GUIs with a little bit of clicking here there and (without admitting) pressing the occasional F1 key.

There is a difference between operating and using any type of service or machine. Let's look at a car. The Department of Motor Vehicles in California issues people licenses to operate a motor vehicle, not necessarily drive one. The operation of a car can come down to twisting the steering wheel, stepping on the accelerator or brake pedals, knowing which switch turns on the defrosters and windshield wipers and field test that proves you could probably drive if nobody else was on the road. Driving means knowing how to weave through traffic on a semi-busy freeway, how to efficiently stop (or roll) at a stop sign that leaves everyone on time and unhurt. Driving means knowing how to properly and affordably park your car – anywhere.

Now there are people who know how to operate twitter and more people who know how to drive twitter. If you still want to learn to operate twitter, I suggest you look at their quick tutorial. Now here are some factors to consider if you want to learn to use twitter. Your mileage may vary.

Know who to follow: Twitter revolves around people. By following the right people your stream and inflow of information will be what you want it to be. Think of this as a second chance for you to say "no" to people you don't enjoy unlike accepting everyone's friend requests on other networks. Follow a newspaper or another preferred news source for instant access to current events. Follow your friends because c'mon, they're your friends. Follow some people who are just funny comics like @drunkhulk – yes, The Incredible Hulk does have his own twitter account specifically for inebriated tweets or @English50Cent if that's your humor. Follow dealmakers like @sprinkles or @groupon to find some affordable deals on things you can do around the city. Knowing who to follow is starting to make Twitter work for you.

(In the next lecture, we'll talk about Know who to subscribe via SMS)

Retweet: If people are the heart of Twitter, retweets are the blood. Twitter is about the concise and efficient spread of information throughout a population. What good can knowledge serve its citizens if it is not spread? Nice article by the Journal? Retweet it. Funny posting by @DrunkHulk – retweet it. Somebody asking you where the party is – answer it with a RT. By retweeting, everyone gets a chance to speak the message they want and let as many people hear it as needed. Re-tweets can lead to immense self-discovery as much as discovery.

Listing -
Listing is like being an unofficial follower. You don't need to follow them to list them. Listing has great implications. There is a point where an accounts efficiency in Twitter will drop and listing helps to delay that point. Following all these people to get information or retweeting without caution exposes Twitter to a weakness that every network or website is prone to – spam. Since every post on Twitter is miniscule, it takes time for the junk to build up. But there's a difference in effort between cleaning up a pound of bricks and a pound of sand. One is more tedious than the other. Listing allows you to test-drive a car per se. You may not want your stream filled with random news bits from around the country or world. You can fix this by either unfollowing them or adding them to a list specifically of news sites. Or boring accounts. Or both! A user can customize their lists so to have one for news, one for celebrities, one of family members and filter out unwanted accounts. Of course, managing these lists can be a pain but it's not futile. Imagine having a car specifically for going to work, another car only for the weekends, another car for those special engagements where the valet will be sure to expect something. Now if you have to clean the cars and manage the paperwork, it can be tedious, but you're willing to put up with the work because you enjoy the cars when you ride them.

Develop (a) – Want a challenge? Try developing programs and integrations of Twitter using their API. How cool would it be if a class integrated twitter to their web-based grade books so that every time a teacher updated the grade book, you could learn about it immediately on your Twitter feed and maybe even get it via text message. The possibilities are endless.

Develop (b) – Twitter is for the advancement and enjoyment of the people. It's to keep in touch, it's to spread information, it's to enhance being social. Don't get caught up in Twitter or even the Internet in general. You'll learn, teach, and laugh more from a single face-to-face lunch than you will from a day on Twitter. Think of it as extra credit, or using 91 octane for that wonderful drive ahead.

Every word

Does it ever feel like nobody is listening? I mean truly listening to what you have to say. That means if someone speaks their idea, do you listen, ponder and discuss (internally or explicitly) the ideas that he or she may have?

I believe that love makes the world go round. Before we can love, we must listen. To listen, we must have patience.

The media mentions how people have less mental capacity because of the internet. Has this greed for speed and instant information, whether its receipt or dissemination (e.g.: RSS or twitter) led people to not listen to the ideas of others? I mean truly listen to ideas?

-Z

Jaws (and IQ) Drop in Disbelief

I think it's a pretty simple request, folks: please believe me. I know I may guise the truth with humor or sarcasm, but the truth comes out shortly. So if I make a simple statement, please believe me. Not everything requires an interview and 10+ follow up questions. If I tell you I'm going to dinner, I am. Please don't say "but it's late." Yes, I am aware it is late but that will not stop me. If I say I have a midterm, please don't try to confirm with "another one? But you had one Tuesday." Yes, that is true. It is also true that I have one tomorrow. Do you think my professors will say "oh, but Zahir has a midterm Tuesday, so I will not give it to him on Thursday." If I say I will stay up all not studying, do not ask "are you going to sleep?" You're wasting time and brain cells.

And why do laundry detergents advertise to make your clothes smell like Spring time rain? My sweater got drenched in spring time rain yesterday and it smells like crap.